Saturday, August 27, 2005
solutions to family...
shiyun's reply to my prob on the family... she said:
my parents do care for mi... it can be shown by the willingness to pay for the huge sum for my education all these years... they r oso willing to pay for most of my needs... to that i shld be grateful... she oso gave mi her example of her parents... being conservative... nv admits that they r wrong even though it is so obvious that they r...n maybe my parents r like that oso... (hmmm... maybe...)
then she said that to improve my bonding w my family... i shld show my activeness in communicating with them... be more talkative... (n hopefully that sth will change...)
well... basically... it's like that... n i tink that it's true for a certain extent... i tink my parents r not the expressive type... n so i have for find their care n concern for mi through their actions... ya... i shld not take every little things for granted... actions like washing my clothes for mi may seem small... but i shld be glad that i dun have to wash them on my own... thx shiyun... for letting mi see another perspective of the situation... now that i've gotten a clearer picture... i'm not angry w them anymore... haha... save my brain cells...
rebec told mi sth regarding on how to deal w them letting know things only at the last min n i tink it's useful... that is to tell them abt my plans on a particular day once i've made my decision... n hence giving them a chance to tell mi if there r plans for that day... this way... i can avoid such miscommunication again... n oso i would not be at fault if anything was to be blamed as i have already done my part by taking the initiative... hehe... that's so clever of rebec...
SpilLeD by b|uE at 10:31:00 pm
Friday, August 26, 2005
good parenting...
yes... i aspire to ne a good parent next time... i will communicate with my children... tell them everything... n get them to tell mi everything as well... i will treat them as frens... as equals... respect their opinions... consult them for opinions... as they are able to let mi see another viewpoint of things... i will make their homes warm n inviting... welcoming n fill with love...
i shall not treat them as if they r inferior... not worthy of my attention... the family shall not be like an organisation whereby the subordinates cannot over step the boss... their homes shall not be as cold as a cell... the house... to them shall not be like a free hotel... as if they are here only for a temporary stay...
this is what i promise my children...
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
why do i say so?? the 2nd paragraph reflects my feelings of my current 'family'...
let mi tell u the incident...
tml... 27th aug is a fren's bdae... n i've agreed a few days ago that i'll be there to attend the celebration... i've even planned how i would spend that day... as there are various activities going on... everything has been tought of...
then... ytd night... my cousin sms mi to tell mi that she'll be coming to my hse for my grandpa's death anniversary... so i ask my dad... n he told mi that it is true n told mi not to make any plans for that day... I HAD KNOW NOTHING ABOUT IT... n if i hadnt received my cousin's msg... i'd probably only know it on the morning of 27th aug!! what's the meaning of this??!! y izzit last minute orders again?? y can't they tell mi earlier.. so that i have time to alter my plans... obviously... to my parents... they expect mi to revolve my life around them... they assume that i have no life of my own n like an animal... i shall listen to them...
obviously... they do not value my opiniion... cos they never ask for mine... they will only tell mi wat i need to know... other than that... i m not to ask...
like the other day... when my dad finally got his driving lesson again... my sis had only know it when she overheard their conversations...
n one morning recently... my mon told mi that she had found a job at prima deli... n asked if i will be having dinner at home... (obviously that's the reason y she had told mi that... meaning... if my dinner is not her concern... she'll not even bother to tell mi that she'd found a job...) cos when i asked her which prima deli is she working for... i was told not to ask too much... ( good thing my dad told mi when i ask him)...
another example that i can think of... one fine evening... the whole family is sitting around the living watching tv together... half way through the show... i had to go n wash my hands... n therefore missed an impt statement that will change the lives of the character of that show... i saw the scene but din catch the words... when i went back to the living room... i asked wat that character had said... no 1 answered mi... i asked my sis n she say she din catch it as well... ( she was there to hear it)... being frustrated... i spoke in a louder volume if any1 could tell mi wat happened... ... my mom told mi to keep quiet...
to the above examples... if any 1 could gimme another perspective of things... esp in the perspective of my parents... pls do... cos i seriously cannot understand them... ...
when i told rebec n xw all these... they ask mi if there were any heart to heart conversations bet my parents n mi... if they hade asked mi abt my life in sch and all... i had searched through my memory... desperately trying to think of sth so that i can say yes... but no matter how hard i try to recall... the answer is no...
i've tried... u noe... i've tried to tell my parents how i feel abt things... tried to get them to hear mi... n try to get them to tell mi things... but i've failed... whenever i feel stress n dejected n confused... my family is not the one where i can turn to... the pillar that i can lean on... i have to find other means of relaesing it... writing it down on paper... then this blog after i've started it... n my frens when i reached mj n found a group of ppl who r willing to hear mi out... (thank u... to jy... sy... rebec... xw... for being the one that i can turn to... the one that i can lean on... my greatest gratitude...)
henceforth... i would like to ask your opinions of good parenting... any ideas of good parenting... ideas of what a good parent shld be... pls find means of telling mi... cos i realli wanna be a good parent to my kids...
oso... pls tell mi if u have any idea how i can improve the state of my family... how can i strengthen our bonds...
SpilLeD by b|uE at 2:54:00 pm
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
one veri sweet moment...
rmb a few days ago... i was juz complaining to sy that i find jy veri unromantic... even though he kept saying that he's not when i told him the other time... sy gave mi a good advice... " u shld learn 2 accept him the way he is..." n i tot... ya... maybe i juz shld... cos a relationship is 2-sided... i cannot complain abt his flaws all the time when i have lots of flaws as well...
haha... n u noe wat... he did sth veri sweet today... hehe... =)
he surprised mi by producing a bar of chocolate from his bag... it's dove's milk chocolate!! one of those that i like... hehe... even though i had guessed that i might be giving this when he hinted to mi b4 that... i'm still delighted to c the bar of chocolate... hehe... cos he's getting it... finally... hehe... even though i cannot expect him to do that all the time... occasional surprises can simply be delightful...
i had been hinting to him quite a lot that i like dove chocolate... n that i have cravings for it even though i'm on a diet... my motive was obvious... at least to mi... i had been hoping that he'll surprise mi with a bar... however... this hope is a half hearted one cos... i've always been hinting to him that i like sth... but that dimwit nv gets it...( sorry to say that k...no offense realli...)
so u c... he can be veri romantic actually... when mood strikes him... even though that's not enough me a super duper romantic person like mi... i'm learning to accept who he is...
as the chocolate melts in my mouth... sweetness melts in my heart... =P we had shared that bar of chocolate... haha... as it's already soft due to the heat... his big mouth took 2 sections at once!! haha... it's kinda comical to c 1 part in his mouth n the other dangling outside... haha...
how can i describe this sweet feeling?? it can only be felt... maybe this is exceptionally nice cos it's all new to mi... but still... it's a warm feeling to noe that some1 actually cares for u enough to do sth to make u happy... (even though he's still not eating his veggies)... =)
SpilLeD by b|uE at 11:01:00 pm
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
national day...
i din noe national day celebration can be so fun!! fireworks can be so beautiful... breathtaking... simply splendid!! this is the happiest national day celebration ever... (since pri 5 when i got the chance to watch national day celebration live at the stadium... the rehersa anyway...)
6th august 2005
after watching "stealth" and "the island' with jy... we went to esplande park to view the fireworks released at marina south.. heard that this set of fireworks is made by the portugese...
it was a long wait for it to start... ...
but all those minutes spent became worthwhile when the 1st "boom" was heard and the colours appear in the sky...
it is veri difficult to descride the palette of colours that burst into the sky...
but i can tell u that my favourite fireworks is the blue one...for 15 years (ie age 3 onwards)... i've never missed the fireworks during national day... seen all types of fireworks... but the thing is... i've nv seen a set of blue b4... what's even more amazing is that the marvellous blue palette choose to appear as jy says that he wishes to see blue fireworks!! it's our fav colour... =0P
fireworks usually have sparks that spread out evenly, forming a regular circle... wat's so special abt this blue was that amongst the evenly spread sparks.... were drops of golden sand... imagine... as the blue arrows shoot out in all directions from the centre... golden drops fall to complement it... it was a magnificent sight...my second fav is the golden fireworks that dissolve into golden dust after exploding into yet another colourful works... then slowly disappearing into the dark blue sky...
what made all this colours magical... filled with splendour n even romantic is the fact that i've watched them in the protective arms of
him... at the moment when sparks flew... i felt a sense of security... ...
9th august 2005
this is the actual day where Singapore celebrates her 40 years of independence... on this day... grandma celebrates her 72nd bdae...
it's been quite some time since i step into her place... no one changed... save baby jarrel... who can now walk n speak a few words...
i used to celebrate National day here by viewing fireworks live outside their windows... they have got the best view here i reckon...
this year's celebration is special for 2 reasons...
1) National Day parade was held at Padang... the first time ever since our 1st independence...
2) National Day celebration was held at Tampines, Jurong East, Yishun and Marina South... at around 8.15... the fireworks began... from my view here at St. George's road... i'm able to capture the release of fireworks of 2 places at once!! just imagine... spectaculating 2 sets of fireworks in the same night sky... 2 sets of fireworks... both juz as pretty... juz as splendid... juz as impressive.. juz as colourful... you get to see how the 2 palette of colours brighten up the navy blue sky...
how many are able to do that?? not those at padang... not those at marina south... not those at yishun, jurong east n tampines... n definitely not those watching the celebration on tv... only us... this group of fortunate ppl who juz happen to be high enuf at blkxx of st george's road..
SpilLeD by b|uE at 6:47:00 pm
