Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Beauty
The Friday right before the March holidays, I delivered an English lesson to present on a particular topic that seemed to be troubling students with a certain trait that is discriminated by their peers.Yes - discrimination.
I started off by sharing this song by Black Eyed Peas - Where is the Love and discussed the lyrics with them.
From the short analysis of the lyrics and introduction to KKK, racial discrimination and the reasons behind it, I led them into another form of discrimination that is more applicable to us; thank goodness for our racial peace and harmony for that, for, weight discrimination seemed to be more widespread in Singapore and has more impact on youths today. I took it upon myself to reveal to them the true agony of people that possess weight that exceeds the ideal.
With images of 'beautiful' and 'sexy' celebrities, I required them to reflect on their perception on 'beauty', media influence on their notion of 'beauty', and what are the qualities of their boy/girlfriend or spouse that they look for.
Now, reading their reflection after the March holidays, I realised, many of them are not as superficial as I thought they'd be. Some brought up points about inner beauty, some wrote that the virtues of the opposite gender is more attractive than their exterior. Deep within their exterior and occasional bullying of plump people, they understand beyond the skin-deep notion of beauty that is cruelly but widely portrayed by the media, which resulted in the societal level of discrimination against them.
I have yet to read the reflections of the heavier classmates, but I hope that my presentation have impacted them positively, reducing their negativity towards their size, increasing their long-deprived self-esteem.
There is this one boy whom we know is currently in a relationship with a fellow schoolmate, he wrote that his girlfriend only has the good and no bad qualities - I do not know whether to be envious or count myself lucky that I am out of the stage of naiveté. There is another, who wrote that he hope his girlfriend will be one with great patience and sensitivity to resolve quarrels no matter who was in the wrong. I have yet to conclude, his take on the issue of 'ideal partner', although fortunately, he is more than skin-deep.
SpilLeD by b|uE at 10:28:00 pm
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Personal Experience of the 'Bystander Effect'
I was on my way back from Blood Bank at Outram after blood donation when I experienced dizziness and light-headedness on the crowded train. I was leaning against the glass divider between the row of seats and the back door.I experienced an intensifying sensation of blockage of the ears accompanied with prolong whizzing sound, and the increasing brightness of the scene in front of me. Then, before I knew it, my legs gave way and I was on the floor. I doubt I loss consciousness there, so I am sure that I received no help from anyone in the crowded train. People around me were probably looking at me, why this girl with a bandage fall onto the floor like that. But received no help at all. As soon as I could, I got up on my feet and left the train and rested on a bench on the platform.
What puzzled me, as I bend down and encourage blood flow back to my head was, 'why did no one approach to help someone who fainted on the train?'
Maybe everyone was oblivious of the situation because they were all engrossed in their private activities on the train, like sleeping, reading, listening to music with eyes closed, daydreaming?
Maybe those who did see me was shy and did not know how to render help to a stranger in need, or maybe they thought I was joking?
Or, are Singaporeans really nonchalant towards people in need?
I think, the first possibility is out. The train was very crowded. Someone, especially those right in front of me must have seen me falling to the ground. I think, maybe the most acceptable, and logical explanation for this is the 'Bystander Effect'.
From wikiversity: "When people are in the presence of others, they are less likely to offer help than when they are alone."
Before a bystander is likely to take action, they must define the event as an emergency and decide that intervention is the proper course of action. While making these decisions the bystander may become influenced by the decisions they perceive other bystanders to be taking. If each one of the other bystanders seems to regard the event as non-serious, it changes and affects the perceptions of any single individual and inhibits potential helping behaviour!
5 Steps to helping:
1) Notice that something is happening
2) Interpret the meaning of the event
3) Take responsibility for providing help
4) Know how to help
5) Provide help
In a crowded place, the responsibility to provide help is divided among people who are on the train. Everyone thinks that others should be the one to help. Seeing that no one else offer assistance, especially those closer to the person who needed help, the others would regard the even as non-serious and not provide help. Those who saw me might just be waiting for others to render help, before they offer their assistance.
'Bystander Effect' seems most logical to explanation the situation over here. Because I experienced the dizziness again as I exit from the MRT gantry. This time, I fall near the control station. The officer probably saw me, and because of his responsibility for the situations in the station, he had to come out and take a look. He shook me up, asked if I was all right. Then, I saw some by-standers crowding around, and one of the aunties even came up and offered me medical oil and told me to drink milo to regain my blood pressure (as I explained that I probably fainted due to low blood pressure after blood donation)
At the MRT station, there were fewer people and there were someone responsible of the situation because of his official post. The aunty, seeing that someone went over to help, thinks that it is all right to approach and offer her help as well.
I refuse to believe that Singaporeans are selfish, or unfeeling towards people in need. Many a times, people are just too conscious of the social situation, their 'place' in the society or particular context to stand out from the crowd. We are too sensitive to the eyes of the public and such sensitivity often overshadow our moral values or our hidden desire to help those in need. That is to say, in the absence of public eyes, people are more likely judge the situation based on their moral values and act based on what they think is right.
SpilLeD by b|uE at 10:44:00 am
Saturday, March 06, 2010
Introvert self, go away
' omg! i really wish to get out of my scardycat, introvert self. Since when did i become like that?'
