Saturday, August 23, 2008
Subway
Almost two months into internship and i'm still wearing black and white. Bad news~ Means that i'm not comfortable with my environment enough for me to show true self. Or maybe i already had? with all my blurness and 'confusing a lot of people'.hmm...
Told my beloved friends about it and got really good feedbacks.
'gotta manage your stress'
'people make mistakes, take it easy'
'be more more more careful next time'
'chill, it's only internship. don't take it too hard'
I understand where all of you are coming from, friends. I want to really put those words into action. I just felt like a bird without wings! The other day, I tried to be more outspoken in front of my supervisor, but I just got it ALL wrong. Please leave the embarrassing details out of this, but it was terrible. I just pretended that I don't know anyting. What else can I do right?
So now, whenever I am lonely. I will eat subway for lunch. Reminds me of Subway in school. Subway is my pillow in this tough learning journey.
I must learn. I must be better. At the end, no matter the outcome, I must be sharpen. I must be a creative, reliable, energetic, active, talkative, intelligent, visual, english person!
Jiayou!
SpilLeD by b|uE at 12:51:00 am
all the best friends continues
i really love you, friends. thank you for being there with me when i'm at the lowest point in life. whether you know it or not, whether you are there by chance or you are here especially for me, i want to send a BIG hug to all of you to express my gratitude. you've been a great company just by being there. with your presence, i feel loved. it might be mushy for some, but truly, i appreciate that you made the effort to get in touch with me (again).i am still at my lowest. like the economy nowadays, one can barely see a bright light of hope. i'm sure i will see hope in near future. but now, future is still bleak for me. i've lost my precious. i'm losing confidence. i'm losing hope. i'm losing looks. i'm losing everything. but with you there, my friends, i feel that i still own something. one fine day, sun will brighten my life once more. one fine day, sun will give me warmth. one fine day, after the rain, rainbow will bring colours in my life once more. just like how my precious gem had.
when night is over, i will be happy again.
SpilLeD by b|uE at 12:27:00 am
Saturday, August 16, 2008
all the best friends
Met up with a few friends today. Haven't seen them for more than 2 years. The full of nonsense wc team is now a no-nonsense group of people with goals in their lives. These may be dreams now, but with determination, it might just be realised one day. They were talking about finance and investments just now. Even though I know nothing of that topic, it's was a joy to listen to them discuss on their futures. At least some of us have directions and passions in their lives.Time passed and people changed. I only hope that people can change for the better, even though it might not be me.
SpilLeD by b|uE at 1:48:00 am
Bumpy ride
My learning journey is indeed a rough and bumpy one. Is there actually a job suitable for this blur and clumsy girl like me? To some, it may seem that I am a sloopy person, who couldn't care less about anything else in the world, or this responsibility. To some, it may seem that such light workload is too tedious for her. To others, it may seem that this girl is simply hopeless. Sad that she is such a person, but still, absolutely hopeless.What can I say?? I am like this. Perpetually confused. Lack efficiency. Careless with words. Even though it is highly encouraged for me to speak up, I think it is better that I shut up and drive (myself to salvery).
Self identification required. Who am I? What can I do?
There were kind souls who came over to consoled me after the talk. But I have to say I have already ready for such talks long before I started the journey. Thanks alot for your concern. I really appreciate it. But I would appreciate more if you pretend that nothing happened. Such warmth and concern will only bring out the emotional side of me. Something that would be utterly embarrassing and reflects badly on my image. I wish I can reply you and say thank you. But I'm afraid I will only embarrass myself.
Well, all I can say is that, if ever I know of what I can do or eat or whatever to make myself more organised, I'll do it. I need to able to do things on my own. Serious. But what can I give in return? I have nothing but a pile of half past six skills.
Hey Pessimistic me: you have entered an one-way street. The only thing that you can do is to grow up and be un-confused.
SpilLeD by b|uE at 1:03:00 am
Thursday, August 14, 2008
HipsnretnI
It's been 35 days since I embarked on this rocky road of learning journey. The beginning of tough (as of other things in my life) but luckily I had mentors to guide me along. Just like me, they were also shadows who visited this place to find out what this other world is like. Unlike me, their stay was short term, shorter than mine. One week have passed since they fled out of this place, back to the place where we all belong... Now, it is just me. Me, alone, to explore the wonders of this other world.If you know me, you'd probably be shaking your head, telling me that I do not belong. If you don't know me, you'll probably be observing my every move, waiting to judge the worth of my decision, my presence in this other world.
I don't know me. That is why I'm here to find me. Identity crisis is what I have. Upfront, I will never admit. But secretly, I know.
This is me. A gemini. Always conflicting. Always unsure. ALways lost.
SpilLeD by b|uE at 11:18:00 pm
Saturday, August 09, 2008
Singapore Garden Festival...
Gathering different types of plants, nature's air-cleansing device, together in exquisite structures and images, this biennial event is just what we urbanians need for real refreshment..Held for 8 days, I only have the time to visit it on the last day. It was Enchanting. the suntec convention hall 6 felt like the natural habitat of fairies and elves of the magical world. thanks to our air cleanser, air was refreshing. thanks to audio players, ambiance was captivating.. take a glimpse of what my 3.2 megapixel had captured of this place of enchantment:
SpilLeD by b|uE at 11:57:00 pm
new beginning...
For a very very very long time, I have been embraced by love. I had sincerely hoped that it would remain so for the rest of this lifetime. The love-hate relationship with LOVE have now ended. Only my brain accepted the fact. My heart is still hesitant to confirm my status. At this precise moment for this momentous task, it is my brain that is working:For a very very very long time, I have been following the bigger footsteps of love and lost track of my own. It is now time to pick it up again. This platform shall continue to contain my frosty snowy memories...
The first day starts here...
