Saturday, September 17, 2005

me...

xw once said... a year ago... that i romantic like mi cannot survive with an unromantic n practical n realistic bf... i'll be very likely to suffer... at that time... i agree only to some extent of it... on one hand... i noe that i require my bf to be extremely romantic... always having surprises for mi... doing things juz to make mi happy... but on the other hand... i tot... if i like him... i dun require him to do all those... merely being w him will make me happy...

but now... i realise how wrong i can be... like xw said... i'm being too romantic by tinking that i can be so easily contented... cos now... having an extremely practical... realistic... kinda money minded bf... i'm indeed suffering cos it seems to me that i'm not worthy of his attention... i keep having the feeling that i'm disturbing him... and that i'm not important to him... i could not pinpoint to specific examples... i can only say that in general... he places other things as his top priority... (himself... money... himself...) he always ask for my opinions of things... but in the end... everything goes his way...

partly because i noe that i'm more sui he and that many a times... he's unhappy with my choice... so well... juz qian jiu him... but after sometime... i'm starting to have bad feelings abt it...

from my memory... the only romantic thing that he did was giving me my bdae pressie at the hall of fullerton hotel( it's a very grand place...magnificent) and that he kneed down when he asked mi to be his gf... and... ...

that was all... m i requesting a lot by asking him to be more romantic or is he simply not romantic?? i've tolerated... n still tolerating... shld i tell him or shld i wait n c if i can get used to it??

SpilLeD by b|uE at 12:33:00 am

Friday, September 16, 2005

sound of thunder...

watched "sound of thunder" today... it's a futuristic movie, showing how a guy made use of a time machine to make lots of money... one day... the time machine allowed rich ppl who can afford to travel back 65 million years ago to hunt for dinosaurs(in fact, the dinosaur was the same everytime)... however, there are 3 rules... the 2nd rule, never leave anything behind... the 3rd rule, never take anything... but it all boils down to the 1st rule... never do anything to alter history... once altered... even the killing of a butterfly(which was what happened)... the will be drastic change to the present world... which was what happened...

this show made me realise a few things...
1) the world had indeed gone very far from the prehistoric times... n that indeed... everything does happen for a reason... take for example what dr lucas had said... "the killing of a bee can cause a flower to miss the chance of pollination, and preventing another flower from growing, which will then cause the animal that had wanted to eat the flower to go without food, thereby causing it to starve and die. and the DNA of the particular animal to change or not to change, preventing a particular species to not be evolve, hence bringing about tremendous change."

from this, i tot... if japan hadnt been greedy and attack so many countries, including s'pore, we might still be a colony of the british and might not have developed been able to developed into what we are today...

2) referring to dr lucas again, he mentioned a dunno wat eqn which states that one can never be 100% certain of anything... even with the best prevention, what u are trying to prevent may still occur... so... never try to say sth for certain as there is also a room for exceptions... that's for certain...

3) to a prob... u might not be certain that a particular suggestion of way of solving might work... but by doing nth... u noe for certain that it'll not work... (by Sonia Rand, the scientist who invented the time machine)... chim ar... haha... i tot so... but it is true... if u dun do sth to solve a prob... try to hide it by sweeping it under the rug... the prob will still be there and it'll pop up again someday... by doing sth... there is still a possibility of might... so juz give it the benefit of the doubt... try it...

4) a short but impactful sentence said by a rich client wanting to travel through time to kill dinosaurs... "what's the point of being rich if u dun spend some money?" some may disagree to this... but i find it quite true... what's the point of having all the money in the world if u can't buy things that'll make u happy?? the purpose of money... is to make urself happy... besides for survival that is( which is also to make u contented)... so... shouldnt we get things that will make urself happy, get fulfilled intellectually, or juz be physically and mentally contented?? well... unless having all the money in the world makes you physically and mentally contented... well... then i have nth to say...

well... these are the 4 things that i've gotten by watching this movie... it's very scary... because it portrayed the image of what juz might have and could happen it the things that happened in the past didnt happen... from the excitment of being scared... i'm oso mentally contented... as i've learnt new things... a good way to relief exam stress... =)

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juz to make it complete... i shall juz add the synopsis of "the sound of thunder":

In the near future, time travel will be an exciting, if unpredictable, reality.

For a price, rich adventurers can stir their dormant killer instincts by booking safaris back to the Prehistoric age to hunt real, live dinosaurs.

There are only three essential rules: Don’t change anything in the past; don’t leave anything behind; and most important, don’t bring anything back. The slightest alteration might impact the existing course of evolution in ways that no one can imagine.

Based on a short story by award-winning author Ray Bradbury, A Sound of Thunder opens on the year 2055 in downtown Chicago where a very elite travel agency, Time Safari Inc., has cornered the lucrative time-traveling market with an exclusive prehistoric hunting package. Time Safari Inc. is the hottest ticket in town…. until the unthinkable happens.

Someone breaks the rules. And evolution runs off its tracks.

The changes come in waves. They start small, affecting the atmosphere and lower life forms first, then move rapidly up the food chain with each subsequent pass. Within 24 hours dramatic transformations appear throughout the city, spurring residents from curiosity to growing alarm and finally panic.

Thousands of fish beach themselves on the Lake Michigan shore. Plant life grows to monstrous proportions as if reclaiming some ancient tropical territory, bursting through the pavement with great sinuous roots, overturning cars in the street and engulfing entire buildings from inside and out. Then come the insects, fast-moving voracious organisms resembling giant roaches and locusts, streaming over everything in deadly hordes.

Species of predatory creatures suddenly emerge, in reptilian form, with rapier reflexes and surprisingly intelligent features, darkening the sky and running rampant through an increasingly hostile and terrifying landscape.

Only two people guess what might be happening: Dr. Travis Ryer (EDWARD BURNS), who leads the Time Safari expeditions into the past, and Dr. Sonia Rand (CATHERINE McCORMACK), the gifted physicist who developed the technology that makes these journeys possible. Time Safari CEO Charles Hatton (SIR BEN KINGSLEY) stole the largely untested technology from Rand and has been using it despite her warnings. Now, it appears her worst fears are realized.

It used to be our world. Now it’s theirs.

Threatened on all sides and fast running out of time, Ryer and Rand must find a way to go back and correct whatever catastrophic error was made, to save themselves and the human race from certain extinction. But as each new wave of change rolls forward from the Prehistoric past, their world continues to collapse all around them.

SpilLeD by b|uE at 11:42:00 pm

boyfriend...

my definition of a boyfriend is someone whom i can rely on... some1 who can provide me with a shoulder to lie on when i'm tired... some1 who is there when i need him... some1 who can offers mi good advice... some1 who listens to mi... some1 who enjoys talking to mi...

then... i have a qn... if one day when u r realli down... ur boyfriend reveals to u that... in this practical world... u have to be dependent on urself... u have to fight for ur own rights... the world is never fair... u have to tink for urself... is he trying to offer u good advice... or trying to tell u that u have to stop relying on me and be independent?? cos all this while... he keeps emphasis that the world is practical n u have to put urself on top of everything... n he din console u by saying "dun worry, u still have me around..."

no doubt... those are real n practical advise... 100% applicable to this realistic world... but... if ur boyfriend says that to u... it's a different matter altogether... cos i tot a boyfriend is suppose to offer u shelter from all this coldness in the world by giving u warmth... n not expose u to more cold hard facts abt the world... he's suppose to be the one comforting u... n not some1 who makes u cry... so when he does that.. is he trying to tell u sth?? that he doesn't want to be ur wall n pillar anymore??

SpilLeD by b|uE at 5:01:00 pm

Saturday, September 03, 2005

effective parenting...

found this on the net... i like the general idea of wat a good parent should be like... their thinking n all that... perhaps i'll need it again someday... to serve as a reminder for mi so that the same thing will not occur on my children... dun say i'm lame... i juz wanna wei yu chou mou... =)

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The role of parenting is to raise your children with high levels of self-confidence and self-esteem so that they leave you feeling completely capable of making their own way and succeeding in the world. This definition is sufficient to govern your behavior from the time your child is born to the time he or she leaves home, and for years afterward.

The biggest single mistake that parents make with regard to their children is that they conclude, usually unconsciously, that their children exist to fulfill the parents’ expectations, to be what the parents want them to be.

Children belong to themselves. They are not personal possessions. Parents do not own children. The job of parents entails raising their children to feel terrific about themselves, to feel capable of dealing with the inevitable ups and downs of life.

Whether a child comes from a good home with every material blessing or a poor home with limited resources doesn’t really matter in the long run. What does matter is how confident the child feels when it comes to setting goals, making decisions, overcoming obstacles and succeeding in his or her chosen areas of endeavor. If you raise your children to feel that they can accomplish any goal or task they decide upon, you will have succeeded as a parent and you will have given your children the greatest of all blessings.

The important thing to remember about creating a democratic environment at home is that you do not have to agree with everything you children want to do. You can argue and disagree when you feel that their decisions would not be in their best interests over time. As long as you solicit their opinions and carefully consider their viewpoints, they will feel that what they have to contribute is valuable and important to the family. They then grow up feeling that their ideas can be valuable and important to any group.

The second ingredient in raising happy, healthy children is positive expectations. We know that expectations tend to be fulfilled, one way or another. If you have positive expectations for your children, they will do everything possible not to disappoint you.

In planting the seeds of success, it’s important to remember that expectations are not the same as demands. Many parents think that putting intense pressure on their children to perform to some particular standard is the same as expressing positive expectations. But children can be destroyed psychologically if they believe that their parents will no longer love them if they do not excel at a particular subject or sport. Positive expectations that graduate into ceaseless demands can cause lasting harm to a child.

One of the most important things you can do in planting the seed for your children is to continually refer to the future. Use words like "next time." In regard to a poor grade in school, for example, you can say something like, "Next time, if you really apply yourself you can bring that up a full grade, can’t you?"

Or you can use the words, "in the future," or "from now on." Instead of becoming upset or critical about a particular mistake that your child has made, you can say something like, "In the future, you could do it in this way." Or, "From now on, why don’t you try this approach?"

There are three steps to high achievement for your child, and these steps will remain the same throughout his or her lifetime. They are:

1. The acceptance of complete responsibility. 2. The setting of clear goals and plans for their accomplishment. 3. The development of persistence in overcoming obstacles and achieving goals.

Starting when they were very young, I have continually reminded my children that they are responsible to themselves. They are responsible to their decisions. They are responsible for getting good grades and for cleaning their bedrooms. They are responsible for contributing to the family. Like a mantra, I have repeated the word "responsibility" over and over again. And it really works. It is absolutely amazing how intelligent your children’s decisions will be when you make them fully responsible for them. Of course, responsibility must be age appropriate. A young child cannot be responsible for major financial decisions. But encouraging the level of responsibility that is appropriate at each age is fundamental to planting the seeds of success later in life.

Out of the soil of responsibility grow the flowers of goals and plans. Young people feel like winners to the degree to which they set goals for themselves and then attain those goals. Children who learn to set small goals and then accomplish those goals soon become excited about setting even larger goals and accomplishing those goals as well.

When a child has achieved a goal, large or small, you should make a big deal about it. The more you celebrate the successes of your children, the more they will look forward to celebrating future successes. Soon they will develop an unconscious, instinctive drive toward the attainment of worthwhile objectives. You will have set them up psychologically for life.

The final step toward high achievement is cultivating persistence. Children, especially young children, easily become tired and discouraged in pursuing a goal of any kind. Your job is not to force them to keep at it; rather, you need to continually encourage them and guide them when their interest or attention begins to weaken. Sometimes you need to get right in there with them and do part of the task yourself. The most important thing is that they develop the habit of staying the course until the task is accomplished. Soon, they will find their own motivation for overcoming obstacles and adversity as they move toward task completion and goal accomplishment.

The very best way for children to grow is in the direction of his or her own natural talents and abilities. Each child is unique. Each child has his or her own particular agenda. Your job is to listen to your children, to ask them questions, to probe and to find out what it is they really want to do. Then, give them every opportunity possible to do it. If they decide later that they don’t want to do that particular task or engage in that particular activity, you should let them off the hook gently and guide them toward something that will be of greater interest.

Remember, motivation requires motive, and motive is invariably personal. It is your children’s job to try a lot of different things as they grow up until they find the best fit. And it is your job to offer encouragement and love to sustain them during their search. As a parent, the most important and longest-lasting thing you can ever do is to raise happy, healthy, self-confident children. You do this by planting the seeds of success early in life. You help them accept responsibility, set goals and persist in the face of adversity until it becomes a habit for them. You invite their opinions and tell them continually how much you believe in them. You never use destructive criticism; instead, you keep them focused on doing better in the future. And you enhance all aspects of your relationship with your child with the magic of unconditional love.

When you plant the seeds of future happiness and achievement in the fertile soil of love and caring, you can be assured that your children will grow up straight and strong, good and true. And for the rest of your life, you will enjoy the bountiful harvest.

SpilLeD by b|uE at 9:28:00 pm