Friday, August 26, 2005
good parenting...
yes... i aspire to ne a good parent next time... i will communicate with my children... tell them everything... n get them to tell mi everything as well... i will treat them as frens... as equals... respect their opinions... consult them for opinions... as they are able to let mi see another viewpoint of things... i will make their homes warm n inviting... welcoming n fill with love...
i shall not treat them as if they r inferior... not worthy of my attention... the family shall not be like an organisation whereby the subordinates cannot over step the boss... their homes shall not be as cold as a cell... the house... to them shall not be like a free hotel... as if they are here only for a temporary stay...
this is what i promise my children...
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why do i say so?? the 2nd paragraph reflects my feelings of my current 'family'...
let mi tell u the incident...
tml... 27th aug is a fren's bdae... n i've agreed a few days ago that i'll be there to attend the celebration... i've even planned how i would spend that day... as there are various activities going on... everything has been tought of...
then... ytd night... my cousin sms mi to tell mi that she'll be coming to my hse for my grandpa's death anniversary... so i ask my dad... n he told mi that it is true n told mi not to make any plans for that day... I HAD KNOW NOTHING ABOUT IT... n if i hadnt received my cousin's msg... i'd probably only know it on the morning of 27th aug!! what's the meaning of this??!! y izzit last minute orders again?? y can't they tell mi earlier.. so that i have time to alter my plans... obviously... to my parents... they expect mi to revolve my life around them... they assume that i have no life of my own n like an animal... i shall listen to them...
obviously... they do not value my opiniion... cos they never ask for mine... they will only tell mi wat i need to know... other than that... i m not to ask...
like the other day... when my dad finally got his driving lesson again... my sis had only know it when she overheard their conversations...
n one morning recently... my mon told mi that she had found a job at prima deli... n asked if i will be having dinner at home... (obviously that's the reason y she had told mi that... meaning... if my dinner is not her concern... she'll not even bother to tell mi that she'd found a job...) cos when i asked her which prima deli is she working for... i was told not to ask too much... ( good thing my dad told mi when i ask him)...
another example that i can think of... one fine evening... the whole family is sitting around the living watching tv together... half way through the show... i had to go n wash my hands... n therefore missed an impt statement that will change the lives of the character of that show... i saw the scene but din catch the words... when i went back to the living room... i asked wat that character had said... no 1 answered mi... i asked my sis n she say she din catch it as well... ( she was there to hear it)... being frustrated... i spoke in a louder volume if any1 could tell mi wat happened... ... my mom told mi to keep quiet...
to the above examples... if any 1 could gimme another perspective of things... esp in the perspective of my parents... pls do... cos i seriously cannot understand them... ...
when i told rebec n xw all these... they ask mi if there were any heart to heart conversations bet my parents n mi... if they hade asked mi abt my life in sch and all... i had searched through my memory... desperately trying to think of sth so that i can say yes... but no matter how hard i try to recall... the answer is no...
i've tried... u noe... i've tried to tell my parents how i feel abt things... tried to get them to hear mi... n try to get them to tell mi things... but i've failed... whenever i feel stress n dejected n confused... my family is not the one where i can turn to... the pillar that i can lean on... i have to find other means of relaesing it... writing it down on paper... then this blog after i've started it... n my frens when i reached mj n found a group of ppl who r willing to hear mi out... (thank u... to jy... sy... rebec... xw... for being the one that i can turn to... the one that i can lean on... my greatest gratitude...)
henceforth... i would like to ask your opinions of good parenting... any ideas of good parenting... ideas of what a good parent shld be... pls find means of telling mi... cos i realli wanna be a good parent to my kids...
oso... pls tell mi if u have any idea how i can improve the state of my family... how can i strengthen our bonds...
SpilLeD by b|uE at 2:54:00 pm
