Saturday, October 08, 2005
blind...
many a times... we r simply blinded by realistic facts... or juz wat we wish to hear n see... for a veri long time... we forgot to feel what is realli there all the time...
but if we juz open the blinds... all will be so clear to us.. the bright blue sky will be portrayed in front of us again.. as the blinds r drawn... we begin to feel how other ppl r caring for us...
while many ppl r blinded by love... i m blinded by facts that prevented mi from loving...
for a veri long time... i had failed to c how the one who is caring for mi realli cares for mi... i mean... i noe that he cares... but i'm not sure of the extent of it... becos... all this while... i have been blinded by the tot that some other ppl is occupying his mind... n mi... being so possessive... cannot stand the tot of it... then... i begin to build this wall around mi... this cold hard glass wall that will protect mi form harm... from hurt... when one day... he will tell mi that that some1 had finally returned his favours... i told him..."when that day comes... tell mi... i will free him... without any fights..." this is juz my way of preparing myself for the worst... i noe it will come eventually.. so to prevent myself fr getting hurt.. i kept a dist... that's the reason why i still cant love... those words have hurt him... i noe.. but only aft i said it... n saw the expression on his face...
then he said sth that pulled mi out of the darkness of my tots... he reminded mi... that he was gifted w superb memory power... it's veri normal for him to remember almost every single detail in his life... indeed... he can even rmb a small thing that happened when he was 5... of cos he can still rmb the memories of his previous crush... the blinds are pulled apart... then i saw how he had also rmb wat i wore on our first date... wat happened on our 2nd date... even the exact date... those that ppl w stm like mi cant remember...
he realli does care... if not... he wouldnt have brought mi to chinese garden when he dun even like the idea of it... he knew that i'll like it there... that's y he dun mind doing wat he tinks will be boring n meaningless...
i can sense it now... i'm sorry.. all this while... i cant... therefore... as long as he still does... i will cherish it... thx for reminding mi... meanwhile.... i shall look for the great sense of security that i need...
SpilLeD by b|uE at 12:25:00 pm
